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January 2010



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Jan. 31st, 2010

(no subject)

Sometimes I wish I had horrible relationships with people that I'm actually really close with and care about. If I did, then I'd drain my bank account, buy some cowboy boots (that I'd only take off to shower, sleep, and sex), call him up and run away. Ask him to marry me, he'd say yes of course. We'd get married on the dunes, me in a white sundress and my boots, him in black dickies and his boots. I know it wouldn't work though. I'm not in love with him anymore. If only though, if only.

Jan. 8th, 2010

(no subject)

I need new friends. Mine suck.

Nov. 11th, 2009

(no subject)

she always knows just what to say to make me feel like a failure and insignificant. i think i'm going to spend the rest of the night curled up in a ball crying.

Nov. 10th, 2009

(no subject)

I got negative test results today! Now all I have to do is get my gallbladder removed and I'll be good as new, minus a part.

Nov. 7th, 2009

(no subject)

I'm feeling super ADD right now with my ipod. I need to take off a good number of songs from my ipod, and add some. I keep switching songs within the first 30 seconds of the song. I'm excited about my schedule next semester. Its a LOT more condensed than this semester. I'm only excited about one class though, and that's photography. It will be my first real creative outlet in monthssssssss. I got my tragus pierced and I love it! I also went to the Army/Navy Surplus store yesterday. I fell in love. I want to go back with money so I can actually buy things. Oh yea, I'm pretty sure I'm getting sick again. I never really update because I never know what to say...

Oct. 26th, 2009

because its a release.

I cried a lot and forcefully tonight because I've finally stopped lying to myself about why I'm not as happy as I've been. My eyes have that almost dried out feeling to them and my throat's kinda sore from coughing. I feel better now though. I'm going to make lists, as I love to make lists, about me and what makes me happy and a whole bunch of other things.
I'm done with acrylic nails. I want healthy nails. Instead of spending fifteen bucks every three weeks on a fill, I'm going to buy a bottle of nail polish and do my own nails instead. It's also smarter economically. I'm trying to save money. It isn't very easy.
I'm watching Kill Bill on tv, which kinda sucks since they take out/voice over all the good parts. Which reminds me that I should add The Departed to my birthday/Christmas list. I got fancy-ish this year with my list. I used hyperlinks for everything so people know exactly what I want. When I say people, I mostly mean my dad.
I really really really want to repaint my room. It doesn't have a cohesive feel to it at all. I really need a creative outlet. I miss my photo and ceramics classes that I took in high school. I think I might get some canvas from the craft store and do some paintings to hang in my room. Who knows though.

Oct. 25th, 2009

(no subject)

I'm really bored, and sleepy, and hungry. I've been playing spider solitaire for hours. I should be doing homework, but I'm not. Oh yea I wanna go to California too.

Oct. 22nd, 2009

(no subject)

So I have a crack in my windshield and I need to have it replaced, but I'm nervous about calling the insurance company because I don't know what to say so I've been putting it off for about 2 months now. I think I'll talk to my mom about it tonight and see what she says.

I need to break up with my boyfriend. He has become clingy and overbearing and over protective and I don't like it. At all. I want my Utah patch though. I don't really trust him to send it to me after we break up. So I guess I'm waiting on that. I also have to get my stuff from his house and give him back the stuff of his that I have.

My room and car are a mess but I don't have the motivation to clean either one. I did put away my clothes though, but I still haven't put sheets back on my bed.

I need money and a job. I also need to get my nails done. My birthday is in 1 month and 2 weeks. So I'll be getting money soon! To bad I owe my dad 100 some odd dollars. :/

Oct. 9th, 2009

(no subject)

I've had more medical issues in the past 3 months than I've had my whole life.
I have gallstones. At eighteen. I have to have my gallbladder surgically removed a week before Christmas.
I had an a-typical lady issue, which I'm still waiting on the results for.
And now I currently have tonsillitis.

Yay. Go me.

Oct. 4th, 2009

Input needed please!

So Friday night, my best friend and I went to TD's, a local and (typical) college bar, and met up with a friend of her's and his friend. I spent the night dancing with his friend, who's 6'4", 14 inches taller than me. I actually have to look up to talk to him. Dancing with him was turning me on! Needless to say, I had a good time so I put my number in his phone. I was pleasantly surprised when he texted about a half hour later (since I was fully expecting the three day rule), asking to hang out again the next night. So we all met up again on Saturday night at TD's. It was a bit awkward at first but that quickly changed once we started dancing again. While we were dancing I kissed him, and he kissed me back. We continued dancing (and kissing) the rest of the night. When my friend and I left he walked me to the car and bent down (remember the 14 inch height difference) and gave me a tight hug. I texted him this afternoon asking if he'd help my friend with trig since we kinda talked about that last night, but he hasn't texted me back. I know it was obvious that I was into him. So here are my questions: 1. Is he in to me? 2. If so, is he now waiting the three days before contacting him again? 3. WHAT SHOULD I DOOOOOO???????????

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